ambassadorzayn:

*hears someone talking about zayn*

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*they mention the engagement*

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I found my roommate’s twitter…

egobus:

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wow i really got around on the second day of school

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i met her once and I’ve never smoked anything

…I don’t even drink alcohol 

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i’m a socially awkward virgin and i’m 99% sure that wasn’t gospel music 

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i don’t even have her number????????????

wavechild:

tokomon:

dumbesttweets:

She has failed at life. I hope authorities show up at her door.


yikes

GOOD

date:

have you ever had a dream about someone and then you started feeling different about him because of that dream?

foodchewer:

cayde:

foodchewer:

*gets arrested for being too cool*

*the charges are dropped because there is no supporting evidence*

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+

iwasaninnocentchild:

rule number 1: You never ever tell someone to kill themselves

rule number 2: You never tell someone that they are fat

rule number 3: You never tell someone that they are thin

rule number 4: You never judge someone and point their flaws

rule number 5: If you don’t have anything nice to say just shut the hell up

wearitcounts:

ishipanarmada:

batmanlockedmeinthetardis:

thisrohirrimisnoman:

1reasonand1reasonolny:

harryriles:

"what are you reading?"

"its a…online book."

"oh cool, what’s it about?"

"….uh…."

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I love that everyone just knows

Or…alternately:

"what are you writing?"

"it’s a….story."

"oh cool, what’s it about?"

"…uh…"

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"can i read it?"

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